Toy Review – The Doxy Wand Massager
I’m about to share what might be the most unpopular opinion in the sex toy reviewer realm. I’ve had this toy since October and I’ve been anxious to speak about it, but I have to break my silence, I gotta take the plunge, I need to say what’s in my heart, reluctance and shame be damned.
But I already have two Hitachis?
YES I SAID IT.
Alright, I might be behaving a little dramatically, but only a little. If you spend a hot minute browsing the sexbloggerverse you’ll notice a theme. Everyone fucking loves their Doxy. And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, Doxy is a great toy, I can’t deny it. I’m just….sad?
The Hitachi Magic Wand (here out HMW) is infamous, even if you don’t own one single sex toy you probably still know about the HMW. I’m pretty sure that literally every sex blogger I’ve ever encountered has at least one, maybe more. It’s sort of been the golden standard, the king of kings as far as wands go, for basically ever. And then came along Doxy, “the world’s most powerful wand massager.”
I’m not here to dispute that, someone has probably done some actual science here and has proven this as fact, they give specs on RPMs and whatnot, I’ll accept it at face value, the anecdotes from other reviewers alone works as evidence enough for me. What I’m here to tell you is… I can’t honestly tell the difference. And that’s why I’m sad.
After hearing about the Doxy for months and months and months, one turned up as a raffle prize in a charity event hosted by Early To Bed, bennefiting Scarleteen. I kicked in a couple bucks, each dollar amounting to one entry ticket, and chose entries for several different prizes I’d like to win. To my amazement I actually won something at all, but even better, I won a Doxy! (and also a purewand…a toy I had JUST purchased on my own. One day I’ll put the extra up for a giveaway prize. Anyway…)
I was beyond stoked the day my prizes arrived, I utterly destroyed the box getting it open. Pausing only a moment to make sure I got nice pretty pictures for my inevitable review, I raced to the bedroom, plugged it in, and prepared myself for the orgasm to end all orgasms.
Buuuuuttttttt it was pretty much just like the orgasm I’d had the night before with my HMWR(echargeable)
Confused, I pulled out my HMW and my HMWR. I turned them all on and alternated between the three, in my hands, on my clit, back and forth back and forth.
Yep…they’re all sort of the same. How can this be? HOW CAN THIS BE!? If you tend to follow bloggers and reviewers too long, eventually you’re going to wind up with a toy that’s just been so so sooooo hyped up, it will ultimately disappoint and confuse you when it’s your turn. In the end I guess my clit just doesn’t appreciate the fine nuances that separate the Doxy from the HMW(R), sort of the same way I just can’t understand wine snobs. My junk isn’t cultured enough. The Doxy isn’t BAD, not at all, it just wasn’t phenomenally BETTER like I thought, based on what I was hearing, it was supposed to be. The Doxy is different from both Hitachis in a few ways, but none of those ways are extraordinarily positive impacts for me personally, so, and I’m sorry to say this…my Doxy has taken up residence in the bottom of my nightstand.
So what makes the Doxy different?
Even though they’re not important differences to me, they may be to you.
First, the head of the original Doxy is made of PVC. Normally that would mean it’s porous, but Doxy has managed to use a medical grade type that makes it safe. It’s still got a little bit of a different feel to it than silicone does. For comparison, the HMW had a head made of textured vinyl (ick), and the new HMWR has a head made of silicone. If silicone is really your jam, Doxy gave the original a new look with the Die Cast, and incorportated a silicone head (in black! /swoon). I wish I’d won one of these, simply for being prettier.
The buttons on the Doxy are a departure from the old rocker switch and new buttons of the HMWs. They’re extremely simple, just On, Increase, and Decrease. You can’t really feel a “click” when you press these buttons, so it’s hard to tell exactly how many speeds there are, or which speed you’re on when changing the intensity. I tend to make it to the top and then press the button a few extra times just to be sure.
Unlike pretty much any other vibrator there is, when you turn the Doxy on you find yourself at one of the mid-range intensities, instead of the lowest one. If you like to start low and build your way up, you’ll have to turn it on and hit the decrease button a couple times to get to the bottom. For me, the Doxy’s low speeds, while plenty rumbly, actually rattle the handle more than vibrate the head, and are too too low for me. I turn it on and kick it up a few more notches as my starting point. I also tend to skip the bottom two settings on the HMWR and go straight for high and higher.
The cord? The cord is a bonus, I wrote a huge rant in my HMWR post about the original HMW’s cord only being 6 puny feet and how impossible that made use for me, so Doxy having doubled that is a big deal. Except…I already own the HMWR, which is cordless, so….???
This is the main reason my Doxy is living in the bottom of my pile. Why get up and walk across the room to plug something in when I have a cordless option instead, and they feel basically the same to me? If I did not have a HMWR I’d probably be losing my shit over the Doxy, but until it’s cordless it just doesn’t stand a chance in my world. The only corded vibe I use these days is my Eroscillator, and honestly I don’t remember the last time I got out of bed to plug that thing in.
The noise. Hoo boy the noise. I think it was Epiphora who said that as you turn up the speed it “sounds like a small aircraft taking off.” That’s a fairly accurate description. Is it a problem? For me, no. Everything I own is noisy, both HMWs are loud, my 6+ year old Eroscillator has turned loud, my Lelo Smartwand is loud, I’m used to loud. When something as broad as the head of a wand massager comes into contact with your body, it’s almost always going to make noise. If you’re worried about noise disturbing someone in your house/apartment/dorm/whatever, the Doxy isn’t going to be your best bet, but neither will be almost any other wand. They sound like blenders, they sound like airplanes, they sound like leaf blowers, they’re noisy as fuck. Is the Doxy louder than my other wands? Not that I can accurately guage, the noise depends a lot on the angle I’m pressing the wand into my body at (the HMWR has sort of an edge around the top of the head, whereas the original HMW, the Doxy, and the Smartwand have more rounded heads. The edge vs. the broad side vs. the flat top vs. the round top all make different noises on me) if there’s a lot of fluid/lube present, if I’m vibing through underwear, what speed they’re on, etc. I think the Doxy’s highest speed is louder than the HMW’s highest speed, but once you’re already that loud, does it matter if you get louder?
The handle shape and weight feel very similar to the HMWs to me, neither of which are particularly bothersome. I don’t have any grip problems, and like with basically any vibrator I need to either memorize where the buttons are or stop and look to make sure I’m hitting the right ones, so there’s no special pros or cons to the design in my opinion.
Do I think you should get one? Maybe. If my HMWR drowned in a horrible bathtub accident tomorrow it would bump my Doxy to the top of my wand list, for sure, but if my Doxy were the wand that died I would not rush out to replace it. If you don’t have a HMWR and you don’t mind cords, you should probably get a Doxy. If you do have a HMWR but you feel limited by the 4 speeds and want more range, you should get a Doxy. If the HMWR feels buzzy to you still, you might want to try a Doxy, but I make no promises here. If you have no wands at all and want to try one out, the Doxy couldn’t possibly be a bad choice, you just have to decide on little things like cords and what you want the head made of.
I like mine, I’m just not quite ready to worship it, ya know? I feel a little guilty saying it, but it’s the truth.