2021 – New Flings and Old Flames

 In Featured, General Musings

Last year was the first time I wrote any sort of year-end-recap and I did it mostly because of how Covid had changed so much, not only on my blog (was a bit of a slow year) but also life in general. We’re still not out of Covid (despite how half the world seems to be behaving) and quite frankly I’ve got nothing else to do for the next two months while I’m visiting my family for the first time in almost two full years, so let’s do it again!

My non-blogging time of 2021 was spent mostly just doing more of what I did last year. My spring and fall are usually spent working on indoor projects, so this year I expanded my toy brand Bosk And Blossom a bit – Alongside the paddles I now offer play knives (which I’m very proud of) and pressed flower earrings (which I’m very sad I haven’t had chance to show off in person to anyone because I’ve been staying inside and not wearing big dangly jewelry when I go out still wearing my masks.) I hope to one day table at vendor fairs and events again – maybe this coming spring will be it, maybe not.

Summer is my gardening season. Supplies were hard to come by on time in the spring because we were back in lockdown after the winter holidays, so while I expanded my rooftop garden a bit, it didn’t produce quite as much as I expected. Maybe 3rd time’s the charm, I’m looking forward to and planning out next year already. Every year I learn something new, how to do something better, or what’s simply not going to work, so even when it’s not what I expect, it’s rewarding. I set myself up with a hammock chair hung off the defunct A/C winch and got to spend a little time just relaxing amongst my plants a few mornings I stayed up way too late, which was nice. I didn’t do much by way of my flower gardens at home again this year because nobody could come over to see any of it so it didn’t quite feel worthwhile to worry about, I’m hoping that changes next year too.

I got outdoors a bit. I started taking night walks around my neighborhood when the weather was good, and even got out to a few trails I’ve been wanting to explore for a few years now (but they require driving out of the city a ways, and I am lazy) I met a whole bunch of my neighborhood cats that kept me company at night (including Jasper, who visits my roof regularly now that we’ve become besties) and got to see my neighbors’ pandemic sidewalk art projects

Finally, I became a homeowner. I’m super privileged to be able to say that, so many of my generation and the ones after me will never have that opportunity. If you do, I have one piece of advice – don’t buy a house with mold! Maybe just skip a house with a basement at all because it almost certainly has mold. Mold is ruining my life right now. I bought the house to move my mother in to, because the 1800s farm house with two sets of stairs just isn’t feasible or safe for her anymore, and we’ve been making what were supposed to be a few minor renovations since the summer. Of course it couldn’t remain so simple, and now I’m at home for the holidays ripping out the entire basement to do mold mitigation that my inspector somehow missed instead of actually getting her moved in and settled like I was supposed to have done by now. So avoid mold, avoid basements, avoid water, live on the moon maybe – don’t be like me.

The upside is I’m spending a lot of time with my babies, making up for all the snuggles I’ve missed out on the last two years.

As far as the blog stuff goes, I still had a bit of a slow year, but I was comfortable with that. I’ve talked a little before about feeling less and less as connected to my body and sexuality as I would like, and the pandemic certainly didn’t do me any favors. It’s been happening for quite a while and the years just seem to be trudging on, everything slowly getting worse. It’s tough running a sex blog when there’s no sex – with yourself or others – and you don’t even really feel sexual anymore. I still want orgasms, of course – how else am I supposed to turn my brain off long enough to get to sleep before 7am every night? – but that’s not really the same for me. An orgasm can simply be a tool sometimes (or a lot of the time), sex is something else, something I’ve been sorely missing, but what can you do when it’s deadly to leave your house, right? Add it to the ever-growing list of “maybe next year”. I also swear every year that I’m just going to write more, I’m going to do more educational content, I’m going to get into more personal content, I’m really going to ramp things up and have a regular publishing schedule and look like a “real” blogger….but I have depression so that plan is just silly. Maybe next year. Almost certainly not though. I know who I am.

I did start an essay series with my down-time : Help! I’m Kinky? It’s an ongoing mini-series of important info and how-tos for newbies to the world of kink, that covers things like basic terminology, how to figure out what you’re into and start exploring it safely, negotiating scenes with other people, and more. It’s not the end-all-be-all of how to be kinky, but I started this series because after probably a decade or more of reading and participating in the Novices and Newbies forum on Fetlife, I realized the exact same questions were being asked sometimes multiple times per day, and thought I could consolidate the things that I kept writing over and over again into a handful of neat and tidy blog posts. I haven’t quite finished it out yet, so be on the lookout for a few more instalments after the holidays.

I also opened up an anonymous question box for readers who don’t have someone to ask about sex, bodies, toys, dating, etc and maybe don’t feel comfortable signing their name to their inquiries. I love sharing the knowledge that I have and helping people where I can, especially when the topics come to sex, where so many of us have never been given accurate information or had empowering teaching resources shown to us.

Toys wise, I think you can probably guess, but we’ll recap anyway.

My heart (and clit) continue to carry the torch for the Womanizer Pro40 – if this toy dies so will I probably. I tried 5 new air pressure wave toys this year and still none of them hold a candle to the Pro40 for me. I would LOVE to find one (or more) that did, honestly – it kinda sucks not liking so much – but try as I might I just can’t let my Pro40 go.

The Zumio remains a solid back-up and one of the only other types of clit toys that works. I don’t typically reach for it first, it’s not my preferred toy, but the different sensation it creates can usually help me get passed the numbness/repetition of the Pro40 when I’ve been struggling for a second orgasm because the first one wasn’t good enough (or if the battery in the Pro40 dies). I’d probably still like my Eroscillator (my first great love) since they share the same sensation mechanics but it’s 3 or 4 times the size and requires being plugged in, so it’s been a while since I’ve dug it out of the drawer. Maybe I’ll have to try that out and see if we can rekindle something when I return home.

Internally I still have heart-eyes for Lovense toys – namely the Lush. I think they’re on their 3rd iteration now but my second model is still chugging along just fine. Still one of my favorite G-spot stimulators, still my favorite app-based toy. What can I say that I haven’t already? It’s a fantastic fucking toy.

I did rather happily find a new G-spot love in the Svakom Cici. I didn’t honestly expect too much from this little thing, but oh did it turn out to be *chefs kiss.* What a pleasant surprise. Internal vibes don’t usually make it into a regular rotation for me because they’ve all been bigger and require more work than I’m willing to put in most nights for prep and clean up, but the Cici bypasses all that hassle and has become a bit of a staple – almost as much as the Pro40.

I spoiled myself a little bit on dildos this year – but in my defense…I was depressed and they’re really good dildos!

Uberrime continued to impress in 2021. I snagged two new goodies in a flop sale that wound up being just fucking dreamy. They were in the flop sale for being short runs of super soft silicone – which you know, I do not consider a flop at all – and I fell in love just as expected. The Astra is very similar in shape to the Strupala I scored from Amavidi last year, but a little bigger with a little more pronounced head. The Praesto has that great curve at the head that I like for a more rigorous G-spot experience than the usual just-want-to-be-filled gentleness that I get from most of my other dildos like the Astra. Both are absolute delights. Marco dropped a new model – the Glandi – right before I left town and it’s killing me to have to wait to order it but I’m so excited for it. There’s also some totally gorgeous new grinders that break my heart a little that they wouldn’t actually do anything more me, because holy fuck they’re pretty. Whether I can actually use them or not, I’m always excited for a new model from Uberrime – the craftsmanship alone is worth paying attention to.

A new love came in the form of Pris Toys. They’ve been around a little while now – I remember first seeing them pop into my feed sometime last year – but their original models were all too intimidating for me. Multiple times I found myself in their shop page with my measuring tape trying to convince myself that it wasn’t all really that big, and then remembering how many times I’ve said that in the past about toys that get almost zero use out of me and convincing myself out of buying them anyway. They were just so so gorgeous though, I couldn’t stop window shopping. This year a new model – The Solaris – showed up and I finally hit the Buy button. It’s a bit bigger and a bit more detailed than most of my go-to collection (which are pretty plain and small, like my Uberrime picks) but the white glitter was stunning and despite a bit of a rough start (I expected it to be softer than it really is) I did warm up to it. Shortly after I was sent a Pegasus which is too big to be an everyday kind of dildo but when I’m in the mood for something a little extra is definitely on my short-list, and then scooped up the more manageable Pegasus Lite as soon as that became available. Along with it came a Nova that’s also a bit large for me, but I’m stubborn and have a whole metric fuckton of lube that Sutil gifted me last year to use up so if I’ve got the patience for it, I can squeeze that sucker in there and it is nice. My waiting it out last year paid off, and I’ll never get over how incredible Pris’ colorings are. (Sadly I seem to have not taken a picture of the glittery Solaris and now I can’t because I’m not at home. Left to right is the Pegasus, a different Solaris, the Pegasus Lite, and the Nova) The Cotton Candy coloring is the best, I will not be swayed.

I decided to release this post a bit early this year because I’ve got the time to do it now, where I probably wont as the holidays with my family get closer and (hopefully, god willing) I finally help my mom move. I’m going to try my hardest to keep on top of the Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years sales but there’s a very good chance I’ll be super drained around those times, so let this post also serve as an early notice – I always appreciate when my readers shop my affiliate links and just about everybody is going to be running some kind of sale, so keep your eyes peeled!

I hope you’ve all made it another rotation around the sun relatively unscathed, thanks for keeping me company, and we’ll see what 2022 brings I guess?