Content Warning

If you’re viewing this website you should be abiding by your local age and content viewing laws. If you’re not, I’m not liable for what you’re exposed to.

Obviously this blog is about sex. My primary focus is reviews of sex toys and other items used for sexual purposes. I go into blunt and sometimes graphic detail of my use of these items. In addition to those posts, I also discuss my own sexuality, my relationships, my body, and parts of my life. While it’s impossible to warn for every possible trigger someone could potentially have, you should be aware some words I use and things that I discuss with a degree of frequency include :

– Swearing. Lots of it.

– I use slang for genitals. Some people consider these words disgusting and offensive, but I’m comfortable with them. I try to limit my use of non-medical words to reference of only my own genitals as I know that everyone has their own preferences, but I’m sure I will screw that up on occasion.

– I discuss my body in terms of it’s physical functioning as well as how it looks, and also how I percieve it to function and look. I dicuss things I like and dislike, when it makes me happy and when it lets me down, how I deal with living in my own skin. While I’m a big believer in body-positivity, the way I view my own body may not always be positive, and I will be honest about my experience.

– I discuss my relationships and relationship partners, current and past. These relationship discussions involve my history with non-monogamy, marriage, break ups, ups and downs. There may be discussion about cheating and emotional abuse.

– I discuss and review kinky things. BDSM is a big part of my life.

If any of the above things are hard limits for you, my blog may not be the best thing for you to read. I recommend checking out the links to other bloggers in my homepage blogroll for someone better suited to your needs. My inbox is always open to feedback.


I’m an affiliate with several sex toy manufactueres and retailers. I earn a commission on items purchased through the links I provide across my website, and am sent products in exchange for honest reviews. Many – though not all – of the products I talk about or links I provide are a part of my affiliation with these companies.

Does that mean you lie to get paid?

No. The commissions I earn are not linked to specific items. I may review a vibrator, and if you access the seller through a link I provide and decide to purchase some lingerie and a bottle of lube instead, I earn a commission regardless. I have no incentive to try to sell you a crappy product.

And the products you test? Don’t you have to say good things to help them sell?

No. I am a reviewer, not a salesperson. I’m sent products for my honest opinion, not so I can sugar-coat and mislead. A wide range of honest reviews, even bad ones, help companies fix errors in existing products and develop new ones that suit the needs of their customers. They also help retailers learn what products are worth their effort to stock and supply, and which ones are unlikely to sell well, and would be a waste for the store. Honest reviews help companies fine-tune their business.

I also often review toys that I have bought for full price with my own money, so if I link to a store that sells them in those reviews it’s simply because I enjoy shopping with that retailer.

So what’s really behind your reviews?

A love of sex, exploring sexuality, sharing sexual knowledge, and delivering pleasure. I aim to give you all the info you need to make smart, worthwhile purchases. I’ve bought junk, broken it, sustained chemical burns, wasted money, thrown toys away, replaced countless batteries. I want to save you the trouble and steer you away from the utter garbage I’ve encountered. I want to help you find affordable, body-safe, non-toxic, good looking, good feeling toys that suit your wants and needs.

Also I just think it’s fun. I would, and have, kept this blog even without the affiliate programs I’m a member of, my main purpose is to share information. Everything else is a bonus.

Do you recommend every product sold by every company you affiliate with?

No. While I try to partner with companies who have a strong focus on only providing body-safe products, a few of my affiliates do still stock items that would be considered unsafe. I’ve chosen to still affiliate with these companies because I want my readers to have as many price, shipping, and product variety options as I can offer them. Of the companies that do stock these items, I’ve made sure that their websites clearly state correct material information and other product labeling so you know exactly which items to avoid, and I’ve checked to be sure that the vast majority of the items available are body-safe so you have plenty better options to choose from.

You’ve written a lot of negative reviews, do you even know what you’re doing?

Unfortunately, this is true – I do not have a good experience with a lot of toys! Every body is going to be unique, and mine is no exception. It is my bad luck that what makes my body individual, is its dislike for a lot of types of toys. I think bad reviews are just as important as good ones – both for the company and the consumer. I spent a good chunk of time thinking that my body was “broken” because it did not respond to certain toys or stimulation the way everyone else seemed to – one of my biggest focuses with my blog is to help other people who may feel this way sometimes realize that their body is not the problem. My body may not be a typical or common type, but in a world of 8 billion people, there’s no way I am totally alone, so I hope that those with similar likes and dislikes find my reviews and it helps them to narrow down the endless toy options into things they feel confident buying.



Here on business? Check out my Business Policies Page here.

Here as a reader? See below


All of the words, pictures, and other content unless otherwise noted, belong to myself or the companies who have provided them to me (advertisements, banners, etc.) As such you do not have permission to use the content, in whole or in part, without explicitly asking and recieving permission from myself or the appropriate content owners beforehand. Don’t steal my shit, I worked hard on it. No, credit does not equate to permission – ask first. Chances are high I’ll be elated that you want to share my content, no need to be rude about it.

My blog is not a dating profile.

Please understand and respect that while I do choose to discuss more than most folks do on the internet, that does not mean that I welcome anyone’s unsolicited advances. Please also respect my personal boundaries – if it occurs to you that I seem to have left some detail out of something I have written, rather than think I forgot to include it, assume that I deliberately chose not to as it is not something I wish to discuss or disclose. I enjoy talking about sex but these discussions must be had on my own terms – where, when, how, and why I want to have them, not on your wants and whims. Please don’t pry.

I am not an expert, doctor, or therapist.

Please understand that while I will try to answer any questions you have, I neither claim nor am I qualified to give extensive advice, diagnose medical issues, or provide counselling. You may require a professional and sadly that person is not me. Additionally, I may just not have the time or energy to invest in the labor involved. Wanna know where I bought a dildo – ask away! Wanna know how to save a failing marriage – I have no idea, all I do is write about stuff I shove in my genitals and that’s probably not the answer.

Please respect myself and my other readers.

I will not tolerate any oppressive speech, spam, aggressive behaviour, misinformation, or anything else inappropriate on my blog or other social media accounts.