Toy Review – The Luxe Wearable Vibra Plug by Blush Novelties
Man I just don’t know with this butt plug. Maybe it’s me, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. I think this plug is just not the best idea.
The names Blush chooses are always going to bother me. When they’re not 6 novels long, they’re redundant – of course the butt plug is wearable…what kind of butt plug can you not wear? Wouldn’t that not be a butt plug then?
Anyway… I asked for more anal toys and so I’ve been receiving them. My butt, as I’m pretty sure I’ve said before, is not very adventurous. I find a thing I like and I tend to stick with it and that makes for a perfectly happy hiney. My brain on the other hand, seems to think that makes my butt – and my blog – kinda boring, so in spite of my better judgement I’m out here trying out butt stuff other than my beloved nJoy plugs and the results thus far have not been great.
The We-Vibe Ditto was downright painful, the b-Vibe rimming plug was a weird lack of comfort, the B Ball Uno was total meh, and now we have the Vibra Plug, which I can’t give a full review for because I literally cannot get it into my butt.
I’ve tried to be more careful lately with checking and double checking and triple checking the sizes of things before acquiring them. I knew the Vibra Plug was going to be big, but I thought I could handle it – I’ve handled my large nJoy plug just fine, I’ve taken some larger dildos, add in a little more patience than I normally have and we’d be okay.
The Vibra Plug’s size was still a surprise to me when I took it out of the box, though discouraged I was not! We could make this work, I’ve got lube and faith.
That faith dissipated rather quickly and left me with just a lot of lube when I tried to try the Vibra Plug out. I put down my wanket, (I fashioned myself a homemade waterproof blanket that my husband dubbed the Wank Blanket, or the Wanket if you will) I grabbed the coconut oil because we couldn’t have this big guy drying out on us, I grabbed several vibrators, I put on some porn, I relaxed… and try as I might I just could not get this fucking thing into my ass.
The problem, I believe, is not necessarily with the size, but a little bit with the shape and a lotta bit with the construction. First and foremost, the neck of the plug is super flexible. That probably makes it pretty comfortable to wear but makes it kind of impossible to push into the ass, unless you’re a lot more bendy that I am. Maybe, a long time and ~70 pounds ago I could have contorted myself in such a way that I could get a firm grip on just the ball of the plug and steadily eased it into my ass that way, but not nowadays. My most comfortable position for anal play is on my back, and I simply cannot reach much further than the base of the plug. For hard-stemmed toys like the nJoys and the B Ball, this is perfectly fine, but pushing on the base of the Vibra Plug just bends it right in half, I have no leverage here.
After a lot of attempts in bed I finally gave up, and got up to go wash off the gallon of lube it felt like I was wearing. In a last ditch effort I decided to try squatting down on my bathroom floor. I thought of this only because I’d previously used a suction-cup dildo on the ledge of my bathtub and was reminded that it wasn’t the most uncomfortable thing in the world for me be in an upright riding position. The problem with my reach still pervaded though, I couldn’t just sorta lower myself onto the plug from a standing position the way I did with a rigid dildo I could hold the base of – in order to have firm control over the plug I needed to be in a full crouch. I don’t know how it is for anybody else, but when I do this, it immediately engages my muscles in a pushing-outward manner, and to try to insert anything in my ass against those tensed muscles is quite painful. Unfortunately it’s also not a matter of just relaxing those muscles – I can do it for a brief moment, but it takes more than a brief moment to fully slide an almost- 2″ ball into my ass, and the second they re-engaged it would hurt and I’d have to stop.
I feel like this struggle could have been at least slightly mitigated if the shape of the plug weren’t a perfect sphere. The tapered shapes of other plugs and dildos is certainly a helpful element to sliding something comfortably into the butt, but while nicely rounded, when the object is a sphere you’re required to stretch quite a large amount in very little time and space. I would likely still have a lot of trouble with a tapered plug if the stem and base of it were this flexible – that’s indeed my biggest gripe about this product – but the different shape could have helped a little.
Finally… it’s just doesn’t really live up to the “Vibra” part of the name. Even though I couldn’t actually test it out in my ass, the difference is clear as day in my hands. There’s very little rattle going on in there, and definitely no rumble. I got out the B Ball I recently reviewed to compare. While it felt okay in my hands, I didn’t love the B Ball as I felt the sensations were far too faint once inserted, so if the Vibra felt weak in my hands it was definitely not going to get any better once I put it in my butt. Considering the immense size of the Vibra Plug compared to the B Ball, I was a bit shocked and a lot saddened by the shitty sensation output – it could have been, SHOULD have been so much better.
If I’d ever been able to get it in, I think the Vibra Plug could have been a good lightweight choice for easy longterm wear and maybe would have provided a nice full feeling without being too heavy or uncomfortable… but short of enlisting someone else just to help me stick this thing up my ass, those are things we may never know, because I find the Vibra Plug utterly impossible to implement as a solo-play toy.