Toy Review – The Curvy 1 by Satisfyer
Air-pressure-wave-“suction”-doohickeys just keep coming, and I just keep trying to find one that can come even close to matching with my beloved Pro40, because one day it’s going to be discontinued and I’m gonna be in big trouble. It’s an unfortunate truth that you cannot simply stock up on electronics (or else I’d have a whole closet full of backups) if their batteries lie dormant for too long, you’ll eventually never be able to charge them again. Every so often I pull out my entire collection to give them a maintenance charge, trying to ensure they remain useable, even if I’m not really using them right now.
Anyhow, trying to find more good vibes, always. That’s the goal. And thus, here I am with the Curvy 1 from Satisfyer. I still try out Satisfyer toys, even after the broken-toy-haunting-debacle of their first generation line, because variety is the spice of life, and we don’t all have the budgets for a bunch of Womanizers (and despite their superior quality, I still haven’t actually liked most of them.) I admittedly put all my new Satisfyers through pretty rigorous water testing that I don’t give many other toys that boast a waterproof claim, but they seem to be holding up fairly well these days so it seems Satisfyer got that under control.
The Curvy 1 has a lot going for it – it’s simple, clean, sleek, comfortable, pretty quiet, an original design instead of one of Satisfyer’s blatant rip-offs of other major brand names they’re famous for – all things I like to see in a toy. The half-banana shape is easy on the hands and the buttons are placed well. The mouth of the toy has an interesting puckering detail that – if you have the right anatomy for it – probably feels kinda nice.
Unfortunately, I don’t. Avid readers already know where I’m going with this, but if this is your first time, the cliff notes version is I lack an external clitoral glans that is supposed to go inside the nozzles of all these pressure toys to be fully surrounded and stimulated by the air pulses. Despite that, on rare occasion I get lucky and the toy still works for me, but most of the time it’s a bust.
The Curvy 1 is not a total bust, but it’s not a winner either. For me, the Curvy 1 would serve as a warm-up toy, but I don’t actually do warm-up toys so that leaves its usefulness pretty limited. It definitely feels nice upon first sensations, it wakes me up and gives me the impression of “oh, this could be something…” but when my body signals it’s time to ramp things up, the Curvy 1 struggles to keep pace. The pulses start to feel a little too buzzy or high-pitched, which softens them out and doesn’t allow them to penetrate into the tissue to reach the nerves like I need them to – the beat gets faster but the sensations don’t get harder.
The Curvy 1 has an added standard vibration feature which in theory, I quite like. On its lowest settings it offers something interesting, but again, as my need for more intensity approaches and I turn the settings up, it all gets muddled into a buzzier mess of feeling that doesn’t do it for me. I do strongly think that if I actually had the body part that’s supposed to be put inside the toy, things would feel a lot better and that vibration feature might really kick things up a notch. Alas, my body is fuckin weird.
I did manage to force out some orgasms during testing, but struggling to cum is really not the goal. Forced and weak orgasms trigger my dysorgasmia and I wind up in pain. The only instances where I was able to orgasm were also when I was testing the toy underwater. I appreciate a toy’s ability to be used in the shower or tub, but 99% of my masturbation is done as a means to fall asleep easier so first and foremost I need a toy to work well on dry land – my bed specifically – and something that only really works for me in the bathroom wont be one of my favorites.
The Curvy 1 is also app-compatible, but like I said in my review of the Love Triangle, I’m not that into the idea of using an app to control a hand-held clit toy. I’m already probably using my phone to watch porn or trying to navigate it on my laptop, I’d rather just use the buttons included on the toy than try to fuss with an app. It’s useful for folks who want to use these toys for long-distance play, but that’s not my current situation. I do like the app for what it is though – being a near-duplicate to the Lovense app that I’ve repeatedly dubbed the best there is. Like the Love Triangle I didnt have any issues connecting or using the Curvy 1 with the app, but I havent had occasion to try the app with another person.
To finish off on a high note – I like the buttons. If you’ve been here a while you know of my obsession with good button function and placement and the Curvy 1 meets my expectations here. We’ve got separate increase and decrease controls for the 11 air pulse intensities (the bottom two curved lines and the middle two curved lines with the power button.) The vibration button at the top unfortunately only goes one direction through 3 speeds and 7 patterns, but I let that slide because I feel the vibration is not the main attraction to this toy and I’m happy enough with it being operated independently of the pulse function.
Overall the Curvy 1 doesn’t work for me, but unlike most toys that fall into this category, I can actually see how it would have potential for others and as such, I still give it a passing grade.