Toy Review – Womanizer Pro40
Oh Womanizer. I definitely don’t love you, I kind of want to hate you – truthfully, I don’t know what I feel about you.
(Update : This toy eventually really grew on me and is at the top of my favorites list. It took a while and I think this review is still pretty fair so I’m not going to completely re-write it, but I do want to note that after some time I finally warmed up to it and think it’s quite great now.)
Despite knowing they were huge unapologetic rip-offs, I really wanted to be able to recommend the Satisfyer line of toys because of the wider range of shapes and the drastically cheaper price tags. Unfortunately if you saw my review of them...well…you know why I cannot suggest you buy one. Absolutely 100% can not do it. (tl;dr they all fucking break)
Womanizer has one of the most cringe-worthy names in the business, and you’ll almost never see a product for less than $150, so I never picked one up on my own when they first came out. For a toy this expensive I couldn’t chance it that I wouldn’t like it – a chance that is very high for me. I was ready to write off all these “suction”-like toys assuming that if I tried one (one that boasts about being a copycat) then I must’ve tried them all, but other bloggers insisted that there was a distinct difference between the sensations of the Womanizer toys vs. the Satisfyer toys, so since I got my original Satisfyer model from them, I wound up asking SheVibe if I could give a Womanizer a try as well. I didn’t want to end my review of the Satisfyer toys by just saying “don’t buy them” without being able to offer my readers another option, since clearly these are becoming a popular interest for people.
I asked for the Pro40 model because at the time (seriously, just a few weeks ago) it was the cheapest in the Womanizer line and I know how much privilege goes into buying hundred-dollar toys, most regular consumers will only own a small handful of toys in their lifetime, so making purchasing decisions are a big deal. I know for a fact that people choose Satisfyer toys over Womanizer based on the price tag alone, but considering how frequently Satisfyers break, my fear is that someone will choose a Satisfyer because they can afford it now, rather than spend a little more time saving up the money for an expensive Womanizer…but they’ll be out that money when the Satisfyer dies, and then they have no money and no sex toy. Choosing the Pro40 meant giving my readers the fairest comparison and giving me a shot at convincing them to save that little bit extra for something reliable if this is the type of toy they wish to try.
And then Womanizer decided to up their already ridiculously high prices, effectively destroying my biggest and maybe only selling-point for this stupid contraption. Thanks, Womanizer. What used to be a less than $100 toy has been bumped up to $130. I tried, dear readers, I really did. I only ask that if you are planning on purchasing one of these types of toys, that you still please keep Womanizer in your considerations and spend that extra time saving your pennies – if you do like the toy it will definitely pay off in the long-run to have not bought something doomed to break on you like the Satisfyer line will. I’m trying really hard to steer you clear of wasting your money.
Anyway… on to the Pro40.
Currently the Pro40 comes in two colors – magenta/silver and white/silver. It fits pretty nicely in my tiny hands, is built with a power button separate the increase and decrease buttons (my favourite!) is ACTUALLY waterproof, and is USB rechargeable. Everything I just said should instantly convince you that this thing is a billion times better than a Satisfyer, especially the part about how I’ve dunked it in my bathtub and washed it in my sink at least a dozen times now and it’s still running strong because it’s ACTUALLY WATERPROOF. (If you think I’m still bitter about my Satisfyer debacle you’d be correct) The Nozzle blinks green while it’s charging and glows solid green when finished. For some reason it glows red while it’s turned on. It has 8 intensity settings and unlike the Satisfyer toys they feel like a steady progression and the actual stimulation feels consistent – not like its got a slipping timing belt.
The charging port is a little bit scary, I’ll admit, since it’s just this tiny little silicone plug that means life or death to your Womanizer if you wash it (which you should) or put it underwater (which you can do.) I always double-check to make sure it’s really solidly in there before I go anywhere near a body of water with it, but so far it’s done its job just fine and I have faith that it will continue to succeed.
The Pro40 comes standard with two different silicone nozzles that just pop right onto the front of the toy. One is a cone shape whereas the other is a more concave creation. If you’ve read my post about Understanding My Weird Vulva you’ll know that I was hesitant to try any of these toys because I just don’t have the proper anatomy that they were designed for. You’re supposed to surround or cover the head of your clitoris with the holes in the middle of the nozzles, but I have literally no exposed clit tissue to speak of, there is no tip of my clit to access, so I had no idea how I was supposed to use these toys. Of all the Satisfyer models, the Pro Deluxe wound up being my favourite because I was able to use it “the wrong way”, which was just smushing the body against my labia and sort of shifting it back and forth so the pulses moved over my whole clit-area. I almost never move a vibrator when I’m using it on my clit so this was especially new and strange for me. I tried out the concave Womanizer tip first because it seemed closer to the shape of the Satisfyer nozzle I liked than the cone shaped option, but unfortunately they were nothing alike and I can barely feel anything with the concave nozzle. Switching to the cone shaped nozzle helps a ton, but I still don’t love it. I’m thrilled that my Womanizer doesn’t sound like a broken-down farm tractor attacking my clit, but there’s still something left to be desired, just being constructed better than the Satisfyer isn’t enough (and regretfully I think I do like the Satisfyer sensation better. I still absolutely will not buy a new one, however.)
Full disclosure : all of these “suction” “pressure-wave technology” toys I’ve tried so far just wind up feeling like vibrators – probably because I can’t use them “the right way.” This is fine by me, I was actually kinda starting to like that one Satisfyer before it drowned on me, but it means that I’m comparing these things to my all-time favourite vibes (which is something other users probably wouldn’t do) and nothing is ever going to live up to my Hitachi or Eroscillator or even the Tango. Comparing not-vibrators to vibrators may not be giving them the fairest of chances, but that’s what they feel like to me so that’s what they’re stuck with.
If I had my way my Womanizer would just go live at the bottom of some drawer somewhere, but my body is being moody right now and denying me orgasms with even my favourite powerhouse toys. This happens from time to time and it wouldn’t be so bad except for the part where I use orgasm as a mechanism to get the fuck to sleep just about every single night, so having all my other toys just not work for me is a real problem. And this is why my Womanizer is atop my nightstand instead of collecting dust – it can force an orgasm when nothing else can, even if I don’t like it. This leaves me in a weird spot in the “do recommend” or “don’t recommend” dilemma. I don’t like this thing, but I can’t write it off because it’s the only thing that works right now. Ugh.
Other reviewers talk about these types of toys “forcing orgasm” in way that is uncomfortable for them because it’s too strong and too fast, they say it feels like the toy ripped the orgasm out of them instead of bringing them towards it where they could decide to jump over the edge and have it. They’re not in control of their orgasm and that’s not fun for them. That’s not my experience at all. For me, when I say it can force an orgasm out, I mean that I am using it to do the forcing, and it still takes quite a bit of work on my part. I’ll die happy the day a toy makes me orgasm involuntarily. Still, for reasons I don’t understand, after I’ve totally exhausted every one of my go-to vibrators I can turn to the Womanizer and eke out an orgasm that’s passable enough to let me sleep.
I want to be clear that it is not a GOOD orgasm though. Despite the sensation initially feeling like a vibrator to my clit, something deeper inside me knows the difference and does not deliver me an orgasm comparable to one I would get with even a shitty vibrator. Womanizer orgasms feel closer to my G-spot-only orgasms, they’re sort of harsh and shallow. They’re weak and for some reason when all of my pelvic floor doesn’t engage, the orgasm can hurt. Because of this the Womanizer is not a fun toy for me, it’s my last-ditch-effort when all other options have failed me and I desperately need that orgasm. Unfortunately these sensations (or lack thereof) get even worse underwater – I’ve pretty much given up using any toys in my bath and just stick to my showerhead. For someone who loves baths as much as I do (it’s a lot) you’d think underwater-toy-use would be the best thing in the world for me, but I’m not that lucky.
I hate this, but the best thing I can say about the Womanizer is that it’s constructed well. Which is a huge deal if you’re comparing it to a Satisfyer, but it still bums me out to not be able to rave about it to you. I wish these toys worked better for me, I wish they were more affordable for you, I wish I could promise you that they’d be your favourite toy ever, but none of those are an option. I’ve been using this thing almost every single day for weeks and every time, even though it works, I still feel a bit of resentment about the whole ordeal, I just don’t like it that much, and I’m bitter that it put me in this weird position.
If you’re on the fence about buying one at all, I highly suggest checking out my vulva post to see how alike we are, and then reading up on some other reviews to help you decide. If you’re already set on buying a “pressure wave” toy however and you just need to choose between a Womanizer or a Satisfyer…consider that I threw all six of my Satisfyer models away. Save up, get a Womanizer, trust me.
Too Long ; Didn’t Read – Womanizer Pro40