Toy Review – The Love Triangle by Satisfyer
The Love Triangle. Clever.
In typical Satisfyer fashion, there’s a new handful of designs to choose from if you’re looking for a pressure-wave toy. The Love Triangle is a silicone-covered palm-sized gadget that is app-compatible, waterproof, pretty quiet, and has an added vibrational function. It’s definitely not the worst thing I’ve experienced from Satisfyer, but unfortunately it doesn’t work for me. Let’s get into it.
The Love Triangle comes with this little plastic “travel cap” which is meant to keep the toy “hygienic” and I guess I can understand that, but as far as I can tell there isn’t a travel lock on the buttons so in my opinion, it’s not as “travel-friendly” as one of their other models – literally called “The Pro Traveler“– that does have a case that protects both the usable parts and the buttons. The cap just clicks on and off and seems sturdy enough, but if I were to continue to use this toy with any sort of frequency I’d probably wind up losing it because it doesn’t serve a necessary function for me.
When it comes to use, I find it a bit tough to work out the best way to hold it. It’s plenty small enough to fit in my palm, but the shape is just weird. I usually wind up with it upside down so the edge that says Satisfyer on it (shown in the first photo) is on the bottom and my thumb is resting somewhere around the charging magnets (shown in the second photo). As design fate would have it, that puts my fingers all over the controls. With the bottom of the toy resting on my pinky and ring finger, my middle finger hits the vibration button which is for some reason on the corner of the toy, and my first finger on either the middle power/increase pressure waves button or the decrease button. I’ve accidentally fucked up the controls basically every single time I tested this toy. The Love Triangle is app-compatible but I tend to prefer onboard controls for toys I actually have to hold (I might be trying to scroll through porn or hold a dildo in my other hand, I don’t want to have to work an app too.)
Orgasm wise, I just don’t like it. Much like many other pressure-wave toys I’ve tried out, I find the sensation to be too rough. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a matter of distance from my junk to the inside part of the nozzle that does the thumping. My two favorites so far have been the Pro40 and Duo from Womanizer, and they share similar elongated nozzles, while I hated all the other Womanizers with stumpier nozzles and the Pro Traveler was just okay for me, still erring on the rougher side. Oddly from the original Satisfyer line I enjoyed the Deluxe which has no nozzle at all, but perhaps the motor was significantly weaker back then. The science isn’t quite there yet, but I do know that I’m not a fan.
The vibration function doesn’t add anything to the experience for me. It’s a bit buzzy by itself, and I had hopes that it would soften up the thumpiness of the air waves, but neither sensation seemed to add benefit to the other. As far as the onboard controls go, the vibration function also suffers one of my most-hated button choices : it only goes up, and then cycles through patterns. The pressure-wave buttons thankfully work independently of one another and can be turned up as well as back down again, but that Satisfyer structured this function that way makes it even harder for me to forgive that they didn’t do the same for the vibration. The button placement is already weird enough, they totally could have added one more so the vibes could increase or decrease. Also, because the vibration cannot decrease, the way to turn the vibration function on and off is to hold that button down. Similarly, despite having a decrease button for the pressure-waves, the way to turn that function off is to also hold the power/increase button down. Turning something up to turn it off is never intuitive to me and I’ve fought with it each time I’ve finished using it.
Can I orgasm with the Love Triangle? Technically yes, but like a lot of toys I try out, it’s not satisfying. Not if I have to force it and it kinda hurts me along the way – which the Love Triangle does.
The app is surprisingly my favorite part (not for this particular toy – as I said, I prefer using the buttons if I have to keep hold it – but strictly evaluating the app and only the app – I like it.) I’ve read some other reviews that did not look favorably on the app so I’ll just say I’m on iOS, I have absolutely no experience with it through Android, and at any given moment they could run an update that makes it buggy and shitty and I could come to hate it, but at the very moment of this review it works really well for me and I like it.
As we know, Satisfyer is a copycat fiend, so it’s no surprise really that I like the app. In the picture above the Satisfyer dashboard is on the left, Lovense on the right. It’s very similar to Lovense’s app which I’ve frequently hailed as the best sex toy app out there for it’s intuitive controls, simple design, and great connectivity. Similarly to my experience with Lovense, I didn’t have any difficulty installing the Satisfyer app, connecting my toys, or understanding and using the controls. When I choose to use an app for my toys, I tend to lean towards the programs so that I don’t have to multitask too much. If you make an account you can access programs created by other users which I think is fun (when you find one that’s more than 5 seconds long and not just all settings turned up as far as they go – come on, have some imagination.) I don’t normally like patterns that are programmed into vibes but the unpredictable settings written by someone else mimics the type of play you might have with a partner at the reigns and can be a fun deviation from the norm.
Unfortunately I don’t have a partner to test the long-distance connectivity with, but I haven’t experienced any issues with keeping the toy connected on my end like I’ve had with some other remote products, so I feel pretty confident about it working long-distance. Some other apps like the one We-Vibe uses require you to send your partner a code to use by text and then they have to log in or double-authenticate permission back with you and that can get really buggy, while Satisfyer just lets you search and connect by their username. This does require both people to make an account though, and not everyone is down for that. Sex tech has been notoriously easy to hack in the past. I personally don’t have that much to lose if someone breaks into my vibrator app, but I’ve never used the chat or video/picture sharing functions that are available in the apps so besides my name, email, and maybe phone number, there’s not a whole lot of juicy info on me worth finding. I would strongly suggest not using those extra functions in any sex toy app if the idea of a hack/leak makes you squeamish.
My final bit that I feel compelled to mention every time I review a Satisfyer toy after the great 7 vibe fiasco I had the first time around, is whether or not the thing is really waterproof. I put this one fully submerged in the sink for the better part of a day and there isn’t any water I can see inside behind the nozzle, I don’t hear anything when I shake it, and it hasn’t turned itself on in the middle of the nigh like a zombie so I think it passed the test. However, the nozzle is not removable and the breaks in the seams do concern me a smidge. I’m not applying any more pressure in this photo than it might get from me holding it firmly against my vulva and you can see some of the edge peeling up where it ought to be firmly glued down. I don’t know the further inner-workings of the toy so I don’t know if water would actually have any access to the mechanical parts if it got in there, but I believe in pretty thorough cleanings for seams and ridges and whatnot so it’s very likely that this would continue to separate and I would potentially spring a leak (if I wanted to keep using it.)
Overall…meh...they tried. It’s not for me. The sensation is on par with nearly all the others I’ve tried so if you like any of the others, this one is probably good for you too. At that point it comes down to shape, price, and the app. The shape I really can’t get behind, not with the buttons arranged the way they are, for being so small it’s somehow so awkward to hold. The price is pretty damn good. The app is good if you don’t mind holding your phone in one hand (and you’re not using it to watch porn) and your sex toy in the other. Is the price good enough to make it a winner? That’s up to you. Personally I say no, I’d rank the pre-existing compact and cheap Pro Traveler as the better option.